Act Like A Lady…Think Like A Man: Why Not Take Him For A Test Drive?
By: Zara A
Commitment has become an issue for me over the past few years (and ‘No… I was NOT cheated on…Well not to my knowledge!’Lol) I guess my reserved ‘like my own space’ nature coupled with not particularly warming to the idea of becoming vulnerable both play a part. So although the thought of a fairy tale wedding allows my overly-creative imagination to run wild, spending the rest of my life *in theory* with ‘Mr Right’ is a rather daunting yet exciting idea.
The question I’ve recently found myself asking is: Do you think its a good idea to cohabit (live together) before marriage? My mother has made it very clear that its certainly not advisable. She believes you shouldn’t live with and possibly even share a bed with someone until you are married *lips sealed*. My mum is pretty liberal so my ultimate decision shouldn’t be too much of a problem, I hope. But as we all know, views and opinions about what are and are not socially acceptable change with time (well not in many traditional African and Asian households, whereby ‘lea-way’ seems to be a foreign term). Saying this, its interesting how some adults advise you on various topics but in practice are BLATANLY doing the opposite (yes, I am talking from personal experience and I’m sure many of you can relate too). Hmm, a case of ‘do as I say, not as I do’ I’d say.
Anyway, I think its a great idea to live together at first instance, simply because it makes sense. I guess marriage can be seen as a fun and exciting experience, but at the same time it is a serious, life-long commitment. So surely it would make sense to have a trail period? I feel it will allow you to see how peacefully you can get along despite limited personal space, experience each others bad habits as well as exercise your compromising abilities. After all, you wouldn’t buy a car without test-driving it would you? (A pretty lame comparison… I agree, but that’s the best I could come up with after a long day at work). Some may argue that they ‘basically’ live together as they’re almost inseparable, but when you have separate homes you always have the option to retreat to your own space and privately engage in your weird activities and/or habits.
Apparently research has shown that cohabiting relationships tend to be less stable than marriage, which seems logical to me. If the dotted line has not been signed, there is far less obligation to stick around right? Research also suggests that people living together prior to their wedding are more likely to have rocky relationships/break-ups than those who do not cohabit. To be honest, I don’t fully understand how that works. Anyone care to shed some light on the logic behind this assumption?
So guys, do you think its a good idea to cohabit before marriage or not? I’m curious, so please feel free to share your views and experiences.
Stay blessed x